My Sun
by AngeLic Eyes X22
Summary: I would have done anything just to see him smile. But then again, so would he. I knew he cared so much about her. And I understood completely. While he tried to pick her up, I’d walk beside him, making sure he wouldn’t fall. oneshot.


"So..he and you..?"

I nodded my head, but I couldn't look at her. She held the eyes of bittersweet sorrow; like she had just realized she made the biggest mistake of her life, and she was too late to change it.

"Do you love him..?"

I could feel a small smile creep its way to my lips. There was no doubt about it. I was madly in love with Inuyasha Taisho, and I wouldn't care if the whole world knew.

"You know Kikyo..for the longest time, I've envied you." I heard myself.

I could feel her gray eyes stare at me in confusion; telling me to continue.

"You had everything. The fairytale romance of Romeo and Juliet...and live the greatest story love has ever told. I've always wanted that...even if it were for a small fraction of a moment in my life...I always wanted it.."

My lips suddenly felt dry. I licked them subconsciously and bit my lower lip. I still couldn't look at her. She was his first love. How could I compare to that? I took a deep breath; still staring at the ground.

"You had it all. A family you could always turn to. The love and care of everyone around you. A reason to look forward for the next day. A shoulder to lean on when you felt so broken inside. Someone who fell in love with you at first sight...I just envied you so much...but now...I'm just so sorry."

The whole time my eyes never left the ground and tears began to blur my vision. The wind began to pick up; dancing with my hair. A cold chill ran down my spine. I missed him and his warmth.

I opened my mouth, "I know you came here get him back. And I won't stop you. If you make him happy, that's all I'll ever want. But aren't you being a little selfish..? Can't you just let him go..?" This time I looked up. I could see anger and rage parading her eyes. She began to breathe faster as if trying to contain her anger.

But she couldn't. "What would you know?! You have no idea how hard it was to choose! To choose between the man you've loved for so long and the man that's loved you all along. Knowing that choosing one over the other would completely change everything! How dare you call me selfish when you don't understand anything?!"

It was my turn; I felt that same bittersweet smile changing my normally bright personality. She thought I didn't know. She thought I was some little girl trying to keep my hands on the first thing I could get. But she was wrong. Oh so wrong.

"You're right, I don't know. I never had someone love me all along." She looked down; I guess it was her way of apologizing.

"Two years ago I fell for a guy who I thought would be the one. Every moment with him was a thrill. A surprise. But at the same time, every moment felt like I was in chains. Every word I wanted to say had to be carefully thought out, just so I wouldn't hurt him." I was looking down again.

"I had to hold back every emotion I felt because I knew it would be too much. I held back every tear that threatened to drop, just so I could be strong for him. But I was stupid. At night I'd feel so cold, I craved for him, he was my drug." A knot in my chest made it hard for me to breathe. But I couldn't stop. I wanted to help her understand.

"I know what it's like to feel the cold Kikyo. I know what it's like to fall in love with the mystery. But when the mystery is solved, the magic is gone.."

I smiled again, "You know what it feels like right? You know what I'm talking about? With Naraku there was mystery and surprise. With Inuyasha there was warmth. And I get it, we're still young and we crave the thrill…" I thought she understood what I finally felt.

But the glare in her eyes said otherwise, "Shut up! I don't want to hear it. You talk as if you're so much wiser than me! Like you're some martyr. But I can see right through you. You put this fake innocent act and steal Inuyasha away from me!!"

I flinched at her screams. But I breathed, "I didn't steal him from anyone…"

"LIAR!!"

Tears ran endlessly down my cheeks, "_You_ gave him up the moment you chose Naraku! _You_ let him go! _You_ left him broken!"

She took a step back. Her eyes widened. She knew she hurt him, but I guess she never really accepted it.

"The moment you let him go, I held on as tight as I could. I care so much for Inuyasha, and seeing him so broken made death look so peaceful." I used my sleeves to wipe away the running tears, but it didn't help. They just kept falling.

"When you walked out on him, I picked up the broken pieces, just like he did for you. He loved you so much, that he just smiled when you walked away. It killed him each day. I tried my best to help him back on his feet. But it hurts Kikyo! It hurts knowing that he would only genuinely smile when he saw you."

I sniffed and clutched on to my sleeves for support, "But it was okay. Because every time he saw you, I'd see the old Inuyasha. My Inuyasha. His eyes would brighten and his laugh would finally sound whole again. I was so glad when he finally started to be his old self; with or without you. It finally came to the point where he was himself again, and I felt so proud knowing I helped. But here you are, trying to get him back. I told you I wouldn't stop you, but so help me god, if you even dare hurt him…"

I heard her sigh, "I care about Inuyasha. I know that now. I just want to give _us_ a chance."

He wanted her. She wanted him. So…where do I fit…?

"Kikyo…?"

I bit the bottom of my lip, praying silently that I was just imagining his it. But I knew that voice. It was him. It was Inuyasha. And he was here, for her.

"Kagome…" He didn't have to say anything else. I could see it in his eyes. He still cared for her. And it hurt so much. But I still smiled; I'll always smile for him, because he deserves it.

I turned around and began to walk away. I was there when he needed me. I brightened the light at the end of his tunnel. I would have done anything just to see him smile. Just to put life back in his eyes…I would have done anything. But then again, so would he. I knew he cared so much about her. And I understood completely. While he tried to pick her up, I'd walk beside him, making sure he wouldn't fall.

I always knew the way he looked at her, and I'd watch from the sidelines silently envying her. I felt so cold again…so empty. I miss his smile. His laugh. His warmth.

Another gust sent shivers down my spine.

Suddenly it was gone. The cold was gone. I stood there confused. I was…warm? I finally felt the weight behind me. I didn't understand. He was here…?

I turned around and looked into his dark amber eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. "Inu...yasha…?"

He just smiled.

"But…Kikyo…?"

He closed the small gap between us. I fit perfectly in arms, it was so right. He never let me go. I was thankful, because I knew I'd fall if he didn't hold me up. "It'll always be you."

My breathing stopped. I looked up, and was greeted with his smiling face. And I felt it. My own genuine smile, the one only he could give me. I held him tight and savored his warmth.

He was my sun.


End file.
